Snow in Vietnam by Amy M. Le

Author:Amy M. Le
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Amy M. Le

18 A FORGOTTEN RAG DOLL (FEBRUARY 1978)

The Lunar New Year is here. Today is February 2, 1978. It is the lucky year of the horse. To welcome good fortune and health for this zodiac sign, families and businesses in our village decorate their establishments in colors of yellow and green. Those who can afford to, have fresh jasmine or calla lily flowers on the altars. The sweet aroma of these flowers can be intoxicating and when I get a whiff of one of these, it brings me so much joy and fond memories of happier times. I remember when I was a little girl; I would get new clothes and receive red envelopes with money in them from my elders. We would eat, pay tribute to our ancestors, set off firecrackers, enjoy the dragon dances, and play games. Our family celebrated for three days. There was to be no arguing and no cleaning, otherwise, bad luck could enter our home and stay for the whole year. My favorite game to play as a child was “Bầu Cua Tôm Cá”, which means “Gourd Crab Shrimp Fish”. It is a traditional Vietnamese gambling game using three dice. Each side of the dice shows a picture of a gourd, crab, shrimp, fish, rooster or deer. The game board has six squares; each square has a picture of one of the animals. Growing up, my siblings and I would use our new year’s money to place bets. We put our money on the animals of choice and held our breath as the three dice were rolled. If the animal we bet on appeared, we got paid up to three times our bet. Sister Six usually lost and Mother usually won.

There will be no celebrations this lunar year. I have spent the last year going back and forth between Sài Gòn and Vĩnh Bình, sometimes via bus, sometimes hitching a ride with Brother Seven, to sell whatever Cường gives me – alcohol, cigarettes, writing paper, typewriters. Most recently, it is opium and marijuana. My license for selling dried goods expired a few months ago and Minh-Hoàng helped me renew it. My family has been able to stay out of trouble with the communist government and we have been lucky to keep our house. Still, no news of my niece Tâm and we still speculate each day what happened to her. Minh-Hoàng tried to help but he hit a dead end trying to find her. My fear is that she is dead. I lay awake at night imagining horrible things that may have happened to her. Was she raped? Was she beaten to death? Is she in some prison, being tortured and starved? Is she someone’s sex slave? Was she forced to clear minefields and got herself blown to pieces of decomposing flesh?

In the mornings, the first thing I do when I wake is check on Thủy-Tiên. I am always afraid I will find her not breathing. She continues to get weaker with every passing year. Her breathing gets more labored.

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